DATE #1

WHO?

• Eric.
• He's Nigerian, 33 years old, okay looking.... and I think he's loaded.
• He's a self employed mechanic.

HOW?

• We met in July, the day before I left my home town to go to school (8 hours away)
• We kept in contact (by phone calls and text)
• Even though we had been in contact for over 6 months, we hadn't had a proper conversation, just "I miss you"s and "Cant wait to see you"s

WHERE?

• I called him when I got into town, and he came to pick me up
• Drives to his place -okay.... He'd been telling me he's going to spoil me when we meet again so I was expecting going out somewhere....

WHAT

• I have an drink (Bells and soda)
• We watch TV :[ *yawn
• We cant keep an interesting conversation going.... other than him now declaring his undying love for me, telling me he wants to meet my parents already so that we can see each other whenever, talking about cohabitation and having a baby... [mind you this our first date... either this guy is talking bullshit (cause maybe he thinks I'm desperate) or he's serious (in that case he's a nutcase)]]

Just makes me suspicious, what with so many stories of the foreign men who com into South Africa illegally, charm the pants off some young South African girl, marry her, get citizenship, and disappear . So I have a new restriction on the guys i will date:

• He's gotta be black (South African black, like Zulu or Xhosa or Sotho) or Coloured.

The Ex Files...

An ex of mine called.
Thing is I'v heard rumours that he's getting married... Not rumour pe se cause he told some of our mutual friends that he quit school, joined he's fathers business and is getting married
Mind you, he is only 23 years old (i think that's too young for a guy to get married but reasonable for girl). And he's marrying the girl he dated right after me. This was eating at me when I first found out, now... not really sure. I'm kinda indifferent)
Oh and he denies any of  this (him getting married) being true.

Anyways he called to tell me he misses me and has been thinking of me. And then he called again when I was taking an afternoon nap... I have no idea what we spoke about but we spoke for a whole minute.

Ms Perfect for her Mr Right

Okay, so I thought about it and I reckon it's a little unfair to expect something so close to Mr Perfect when I'm hardly Perfect myself. 

Now I feel I have a choice between;

1. Settling for someone mediocre (the thought makes me puts 2 fingers down my throat)... that or... 
2. Try improve myself...

A friend says that's a bad idea... "You shouldn't change yourself for a guy Gee, He's suppose to love you just the way you are." (mind you, most of these things in my list are things this same friend has been 'lecturing' me about from time to time)

Well... its not that I'm changing... Its just that I've been in relationships before that didn't work.... and Yes its so easy to sit back and say to yourself "I'm okay, but there's definitely something wrong with him" But the truth of the matter is most times both people could have been better people, or dealt with issues differently, or something, and maybe the relationship could have worked out differently. 

So I have decided that I'm not going into another relationship with bad habits, and personality traits that I know will only cause problems in my relationship.

I know theses little changes wont make me perfect, I don't even want to be so perfect, But it'll make living with me a little more bearable. And i know My Mr Right wont be too perfect either... I just hope we'll be perfectly imperfect for each other.... (sounds a little cheesy doesn't it?!)

So here's the list;-

• GET IN SHAPE- I don't think this has played a role in any of my break ups... They all met and approached me with this body... But getting in shape wouldn't do anyone any harm. It'll be good for me to watch my health, I guess my beau would love a beautiful, healthy body to get cosy with and the rest of my friends and family would be relieved too, they don't have to nag me either.

• STOP SMOKING- yeah it's about time i started taking better care of myself.

• WATCH HOW I DRESS, ACT LIKE A LADY. ETC- okay actually I am a lady in public but i could definitely watch how I dress... Its not that i dress bad, No! Just my siblings always say i look too plain (I'm a jeans and tank top girl- very simple) They say I have to look "WOW" everyday.

• LEARN TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND RELIABLE WITH MONEY

• LEARN TO MAKE SMALL TALK- I'm a shy girl a little bit... I only ever talk to people i know and like, and I never talk in a group... People have called me unfriendly because they see me talking to my friends but keep quiet when they join the group... So I should learn to talk to different people.

• WATCH NEWS, READ NEWS PAPERS, BE UP TO DATE WITH CURRENT AFFAIRS- cause every time a topic along these lines comes up, i tend to be even more quiet.Doing these things should make for more things to talk about.

• GIVE COMPLIMENTS- I don't know what my problem is, I can give girl friends compliments, but have a hard time when it comes to guys... cant even compliment guys who are just friends, or boyfriends compliments without feeling awkward. I do spot things I could compliment them on but... I dunno. 

My Mr Right

It's all about the law of attraction....
Okay lets not go into a whole lot of scientific theory now so I'll cut it real short.

The law of attractions says

1. You have to know what you want 
2. If you want it enough it'll find its way to you.

So... I've drawn up a rather specific list of what my husband should be like... read on.

WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE? Tall, Good looking, Not skinny

HAIR? Shaves it off

STYLE? Clean look. No swag! None of those crazy fashions that'll make him look like some hip hop star... or wear really tight, coloured skinny pants.

T-SHIRTS OR SHIRTS? Either. As long as he doesn't look all serious everyday, or like a horny teenager in those bright printed tees

BOOTS OR FLIP FLOPS? Boots, Sneakers, No flip flops

WHAT DOES HE LIKE TO DO? Going out, Drinks, Lunches, Get together with friends or family, Braais, Movies, Board games, etc.

WHERE DOES HE HANG OUT? Classy spots that aren't too crowded... your Country clubs, or News cafe, etc. 

WHO DOES HE HANG OUT WITH? Professionals, and educated people. Colleagues, Family, Friends.

WHAT SORT OF JOB DOES HE HAVE? A well paying job he studied towards. He most definitely must not be a blue collar worker. Must do something classy with status.

IS HE FUNNY? Yes Please.

SERIOUS? To some extent

ATHLETIC? No... but he must not be fat and round.

SHOULD HE LIKE BOOKS? Not if he will expect me to read too.

ART? I dont really mind.

ARTIST OR SCIENCE GEEK? As long as he doesn't plan on making a living through singing or painting. I like science though so...

WHAT WONT I COMPROMISE ON?  Education, Being trustworthy, Personality

WHAT CAN I COMPROMISE ON? Looks, Background (as long as he is looking to move forward and high in life, doesn't matter what kind of home/background he had)

HONESTY? Yes

WHATS A WHITE LIE? If i catch him in a white lie... something that is not at all serious, something i can understand without being suspicious... i could forgive, but what are the chances?? I'm a very suspicious person.

TRAVELS? Not too much with work. We can all travel together as a family. 

KIDS? Maybe 1. 2 kids? FORGET IT!! 

DIVORCED? Not if there are kids involved

STRONG FAITH? Some faith -yes. But i'm not marrying a Pastor or Preacher.

DIFFERENT FAITH? Any kind of Christian, Id marry.

WHAT IF HE YELLS A LOT? No thanks

IF HE ISN'T AFFECTIONATE? Could forgive

IF HE KISSES FUNNY? LOL

So If anyone meets him before I do... Give him my address.

Intro...

My name is Magugu, I'm 23 and single and looking for a man to marry.

WHY? Always wanted to be married by 25, with 2 and a half kids, a house, and all. only 2 years left now.
I've met a number of grown women who also had the same dreams, but it didn't happen so... I'm not going to wake up ten years from now, single, and wondering why i didn't get off my backside and find myself a man to love, marry and start a family. Gotta make things happen for myself now... Its been 23 years now and he hasn't found me yet so i'm going to find him myself.

WHO? Well I haven't met him yet but he better be;-

• Good looking to average- his genes will be making my babies.
• Funny&with a personality- I'm going to live with this person, he better not bore me to death.
• Successful- because I'm going to be a success and we all know men feel inferior to women who make more money then them so...  
• Trustworthy and reliable

WHEN? I'm hoping I'll be engaged in the next 12 months

HOW? I believe getting a great man (good looking, with personality, and a heavy wallet) to marry doesn't just happen by chance, it take strategy, vision, blueprint. 
I haven't come up with my detailed plan yet but.... This is sooo going to happen.... I can feel it.